Kansas City

X•XVII•MMXIX

This past week we finally got back to our normal schedule; as much as I loved the relational wholeness class that week felt like an entire month. Even looking back on events that only happened a week ago feel like they were a month ago. It’s ridiculous how time moves around here. A couple of highlights from the last week include our class on Saturday, Sunday’s outing, and the prayer room Tuesday night. 

Saturday, October 12 

Today our class was on forgiveness; which I think a lot of people in the church know is important but have you thought about it really? Like the Bible says God’s forgiveness towards us also depends on our forgiveness of others.

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forive men their tespasses, neither will your Father forigve your trespasses.” Matthew 6:12-15

This topic is obviously far deeper than just that, but it’s not something to be taken lightly. We are called to forgive just as God has forgiven us. Just thinking about that, like really thinking about it, is insane. God knows every thought we’ve ever had, everything we’ve ever done, everything we’ve ever said, looked at, been a part of and yet when we go to Him and repent He immediately forgive all of it and holds none of it against us. Our class on Saturday walked us through what forgiveness is, what it is not, the difference between giving it and asking for it; what really got me was learning how to forgive from your heart and not your head. It’s easy to think to yourself, “yeah I forgive that person”; but acknowledging the hurt, to feeling the pain without justifying their actions and forgiving in that way is powerful.

Sunday, October 13 

Our home group outing for the day was a lot of fun, we went to a Cider Mill in the area. Their Cinnamon donuts with the spiced hot apple cider were amazing; I don’t think I’ve ever had apple cider better than that. My leader suggested dipping the donut into the Cider and it tasted like apple pie. Fall is my absolute favorite season and this activity made my heart extremely happy.

Tuesday, October 15

To be completely honest, for the past week and a half being here has been extremely hard. I was having a hard time engaging with classes, the prayer room felt very forced, and a big part of me just wanted to go home. What was weird, was I wasn’t the only one feeling like that; a lot of us were feeling a weird wall when it came to engaging. God had a plan in all of it; we obviously didn’t know it, but He had a night in mind to shift things for all of us. 

Around 10 pm that night I remembered the times I had dreamed about coming here, how the finances all came together in such a miraculous way, and the fact that out of millions of people God could have called to come at this time He chose me. I knew in my head that this was a once in a lifetime season, but at that moment I realized it in my heart. The moment of excitement I felt coming here three months ago, came alive in my heart again.

Not only that, but God opened my eyes to something on his heart. I’m not going to go into it because it’s more personal than I’m ready to go, but my heart broke like his own, and He healed me in an area I forgot I needed healing. As I sat there and wept for a while I knew Jesus was right there weeping with me. I never ever want to forget that moment and I don’t think I ever will, He awakened an emotion in my heart I hadn’t felt in years. I know thats really vague, but maybe someday I’ll expand on it. Right now I’m just not ready, it’s just a sweet moment between me and God.  

 

But wait, there’s more…

At about 11:30 pm something shifted in the room and the Spirit moved in joy and freedom. I don’t fully know how to put it into words, but I felt free to dance, to shout, to praise the Lord in a way I’ve only ever felt at summer camp. We all ended up in the front of the room dancing together as an internship; people were weeping, dancing, shouting, and worshipping and I felt something shift for us. That set went a little late that night. I’m so thankful for David Forlu’s leadership in his set’s, He really leads by the Spirit; I’m really excited for the next two months sitting before the Lord and letting Him move however He wants.

Thanks for reading. xx