The Love of a Friend

I’m going to be honest with you; I’m still learning what the love of a friend looks like; what true friendship means; how to handle losing connection with a friend I expected to love forever. For some people, making friends is like breathing – it’s natural and easy. I’m not like those people; I’m awkward, quiet, and I never know what to say when first meeting someone. I think more people feel that way than we realize; even the person we’re trying to get to know. 

However, when we do make connections when we do find a friend that we can love with the confidence that they love us in return we hope it will last a lifetime. I’ve had approximately 8 friendships like that in my lifetime, 8 friends I thought would stand by my side through everything; of those, 4 that I’ve lost connection with throughout the years. Some were harder to lose than others; growing up filters some people out of your life, sometimes trust is lost unexpectedly, and you realize the connection is just not the same. 

The love of a friend, when you have it, is not something to take lightly. When you love a friend, you want to be there through their ups and downs, you see them for who they truly are and you stick by their side through the tough times because you know they’d do the same for you. Sometimes that love is long distance, a connection you make that stands through time; you may not see one another for months, or years, but the moment you’re in the same room it’s as if nothing has changed. 

It’s a love that is different from the love of your family or your significant other. It’s the person who you can call to talk to about the argument you just had with your boyfriend. Who you can trust will know when to listen; and when to bluntly tell you that you may need to rethink your choices. It’s the person you can talk to about that weird personal topic you wouldn’t discuss with your parents, or your significant other, or just any person in your life.

Finally, it’s the person you can escape with. Yes, your spouse should be your best friend, but it’s important to build friendships outside of that. Sometimes you need someone you’re not living with, who you can laugh with until your stomach hurts and who can cry with you 10 minutes later as you walk through tough situations together. 

I’ve had to overcome the fear throughout my life that the friends I had didn’t truly love me, that I was an obligation; and I now know that’s not how the love of a true friend works. The love of a friend is something you give as much as you receive. My best friend lives two hours away and yet I know I can call her when I need someone to listen, I know that as soon as I see her name on my phone I want to respond; I’ll be there when she needs me no matter what may be happening.

The love of a friend is not promised, sometimes life happens and they leave. Sometimes they choose someone else over you or trust is lost, and you have to go through the heartbreak of a broken friendship. The love of a friend may mean vulnerability and sacrifice, but it’s so worth it in the end to have that person you can do dumb things with. That person you can go night swimming with after a Pinterest experiment fails. Who you stay up late with, despite having class the next morning, because you’re laughing too hard over stupid things. Who prays with you when you’re struggling; and who understands that you’re terrible at communicating but you love her just the same. 

I’ve had my ups and downs with friendships; the trust and connection that comes from the love of a friend are not created overnight. It takes time and commitment, but when it’s built it’s beyond description. Yeah you can lose it, and it hurts like heck, but it’s still worth it.

Maybe you think that the love of a friend looks different, maybe you have fun memories with that friend, or maybe you’re going through the loss of that love. I’d love to hear your stories and what you think!

Thanks for reading. xx